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Glee Quotes 2.04 "Duets"

2.04 Duets Still 01 HQ

Brittany (about Puck): He must be the dumbest person on this planet, and that’s coming from me.

Finn (about Puck): We need his voice and his bad boy stage presence.

Sam: Hey everybody. I’m Sam. Sam I am. And I don’t like green eggs and ham.
Santana: Oh wow, he has no game.

Will: What’s a duet?
Brittany: A blanket.

Kurt (about Sam): He’s on team gay. No straight boy does his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.

Kurt: I have 3 gifts; my voice, my ability to spot trends in men’s fashion and my ability to know when it comes from a bottle.

Santana (to Brittany): There’s a lot of talking going on and I wants to get my mack on.

Santana (to Brittany): I’m not making out with you because I’m in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies.

Santana (to Mercedes): Uh huh. That’s right girl. So if we do a duet together, we will be the undisputed top bitches at this school.

Santana (to Mercedes):Sometimes when you're not looking I put weird things in your food.

Kurt (to Finn): Once again your closeted homophobia seeps to the surface like the contents of a crack cesspool.

Finn (to Rachel): Don’t be sad. I mean BreadstiX has these vegan meatballs. They’re ok.

Rachel: I’m not really a nice person. I’m selfish. The fact is I’m only really generous if there’s something in it for me.
Finn: Yeah, but I still like you.

Finn (to Rachel): Technically you’re doing this because it’ll help us win Nationals, which means there’s still something in it for you. So it doesn’t really count as you doing something nice.

Mike: Normal. What do you mean? We went out last night.
Tina: For dim sum with your mom. All we ever do is dim sum with your mom.

Brittany (to Artie): For a while I thought you were a robot.

Tina (to Mike): I’m not saying that steamed pork knuckles aren’t delicious.

Tina (to Mike): It was a chicken feet salad. All I want is a normal salad that doesn’t have chicken feet in it!

Brittany (to Artie): I just really want to get you in a stroller.

Mike: We should go to Asian couples therapy.
Tina: Why does the couples therapy have to be Asian?

Sam (about Kurt): He emailed me like sixty mp3s of him singing and I thought it was Faith Hill.

Finn (to Sam): Can you imagine what it’s gonna to be like coming home with that first place trophy? Most of the kids in this town have never even seen the ocean. We’ll be Gods.

Sam (to Finn): I didn’t realize you had a problem with gay dudes.

Quinn: The blueberry flavor is the worst, especially if it gets down your pants. I looked like a creature out of Avatar down there when I got slushied.

Quinn: What’s the point of being popular if you can’t do what you want.

Kurt: I am the only openly gay kid at school, in this town. Why can’t I walk hand-in-hand down the hall with a person that I like? Why can’t I slow dance at my prom?

Santana: I’ve already bought custom bibs for me and Mercedes here. You know why? Cuz we’s be goin’ to BreadstiX.

Rachel (to Finn): Being the “it” couple is so much harder than I thought.

Kurt: When you’re different. When you’re special. Sometimes you have to get used to being alone.

Santana: How can you do a duet by yourself? That’s like vocal masturbation or something.

Brittany (to Santana): I’m mad at you, but you’re still so hot.

Finn: I’m with Rachel now. I mean she’s a lot shorter than Quinn and she talks a lot, but I’m in love with her.

Rachel: You’re probably not going to beat Finn and I, but I just thought that as the team captain it would be good for the team to have some healthy competition for second place.

Artie: I thought I was over somebody, but I still think I have feelings for them.
Brittany: The Clintons?

Brittany (to Artie): Before our duet, we’re gonna do it.

Quinn (to Rachel and Finn): I seriously want to punch both of you.

Brittany (to Artie): I was going to order us one really long piece of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. I’ve been practicing nudging the meatball across the table with my nose.

Santana (to Artie): She’s using you for your voice. That’s the only reason she had sex with you.

Santana: Hi, excuse me. Do you know Brittany?
Random guy: Cheerios Brittany? Yeah, we had sex.

Santana (to Artie): The only thing you can give Brittany that she can’t get somewhere else is super choice parking.

Rachel: I have something that I wanted to talk to you about.
Kurt: Please not another pregnancy.

Sam: I know what it’s like to have a secret that you’re ashamed of.
Quinn: Holy crap, so you are gay?

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